When you combine two of the most funniest things you get poop one liners. 33. Call the squat team. 50 of Tim Vines most ingenious jokes and one-liners I thought Id begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? 'Cause it's just like rain with a little thunder. A meaty-urologist. the cat who ate a ball of yarn? Diarrhea can drain you your energy and its no fun at all. They arrived to a sticky
hostage situation. 2. Then the agents says that not fair. . Uncle: Urine a lot of trouble mister. My uncle proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at his own joke while my four year old cousin stood there looking really confused and my aunt walked away with her arms crossed, angrily trying to hold back her laughter. To go-to pee, All they said was, Bach, Bach, Bach, 24. The reason some politicians like to stand on their record is to keep voters from examining it. A rich man is 0ne who isnt afraid to ask the clerk to show him something cheaper. ), 15+ Ridiculously Funny Dinosaur Jokes To Laugh and Rawr 2023, 89+ Star Wars Quotes Ultimate Collection 2023: Quotes We All Can Relate To, 27 Ultimately Happy Quotes to Make your Day A-okay! The IRS came to this mans house one day and told him to come in the next morning to talk about all the money thats been coming in and out of his bank account. Ha! says the barman. 100. They wash their hands, hands, hands, hands, hands, hands, hands, hands. Laughter is the best medicine. 5. Whats brown and sounds like a bell? Q. I make celebrities look stupid and normal people look like celebrities.. What do octopuses do after using the toilet? Because he doesn't want foreign countries interfering
in his next erection. When you combine two of the most funniest things you get poop one liners. She said she didnt feel a thing! Click here for more information. Dropped a few dad jokes at t in the park last weekend, When did I stop sleeping with my ass in the air- 15, When did I stop dropping my pants and underwear to my ankles to pee at a urinal- 14. Did
you know Chuck Norris had the idea to can his urine as a
beverage? Its difficult for some people to relate to what kids are into these days. Police
were called to a sperm bank yesterday, after the receptionist
was reportedly shot in the face. Yeah, they got him on possession. Because he was stuffed. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. What's Pee-Wee Herman's favorite Michael Jackson song? . Poop jokes arent my favorite jokes. I dont really like how you can feel it move though. Darn tootin'! 1.Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom? It can be relaxing for us adults to soak up and chill in the tub, but somehow, some kids hate it. WebTop 20 Jokes about Pee Two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life boat. To get to the bottom. 3. Because he always goes with the flow. A. Urologists only work on one bone. Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever. Probably 40 of the little suckers. You're in for a workout. Well, thats the point, isnt it? No? He was a whiz kid. the cow that ate bluegrass and mooed indigo? What do you call a bathroom superhero? A. Doctors say 4 out of 5 people suffer with diarrhea. Why did the baby put quarters in its diaper? Laugh more here: Funny and Flirty Woman Jokes. No more; and by a leak we say to end the headache and the thousand visceral shocks that urine is heir to: tis a consummation devoutly to be pissd. The man says yes I do, I'm a gambler. He was given a ticket for making a ewe turn. "Sir, I'm afraid your son can't attend our swimming lessons anymore.". Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl using the bathroom? Im feeling really wiped. 4. A noble gas. Because it's also called a restroom! A
guy saw a penny in a urinal and wondered what they'd wished
for. What's a doctor hope to gain from a urine test? Why shouldn't you be afraid to fart while you pee? #1
Point to Ponder: When pee jokes are not funny, why don't
we get pissed off? The old man takes out his false teeth and bites his other eye. 56. We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. Are you looking for more? My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. The librarian says, It rings a bell, but I dont know whether its there or not. Advertisement. Looking
for jokes about the urinary system? We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. Because he was sitting on the deck. It runs in your genes. So youre the one! The man on the phone says, weve noticed large sums of money coming in and going out of your account constantly and we gotta get this straight. It is even better when his friends are around. What do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic? Nothing. She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly?" The purrpatrator. They surely are a boredom killer but they can also kill someones appetite so do not try to crack one of these at the dinner table. It never came out. What do you call a fairy that uses the toilet? 2. He worked it out with a pencil. 3. Q. Because he was looking for Pooh! Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? Yo mama so fat when she sat on the toilet it sang abcdefg get your fat butt off of me. 54. 74. Why did the chicken go to the seance? How many egomaniacs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q. Why dosn't the urologist accept patients that live on islands? A. Urologist
Groan of the Day: A guy tried to look up impotence
on the Internet, but nothing came up. Poop Jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid #2 You didn't pass Q. Shampoo. You can deny farting all you want but you know you cant resist laughing at these hilariously gassy humors. No, but it does run in your jeans. Was I born in a nest or a hive?. Keegan come here. I wonder why a cats favorite song is Three Blind Mice. Sir Loin. Everyone has an embarrassingly funny experience with poop. A whizzard. WebA blonde woman came in for a routine physical at the doctors office. It runs in your genes. What do you call a pirate that skips class? Me: We just passed a rest stop too Why was Eeyore down the toilet? 49. Whos there? The
nurse at the sperm bank told a guy to masturbate in the
cup. He didnt want to go. Q. I hate spelling errors. What do you need in order to make a small fortune on Wall Street? Me: willow ptarmigan (pronounced willow tarmigan. The smile looks really good on you. Did you hear about the statistician who drowned while crossing a river? I think it was a dandy lion. Because he liked to play with balls. 65. 11. The man takes out his fake eye and bites it. Q. Whats a dogs favorite homework assignment? We know its not funny when youre in a tough situation, like when a stubborn brown nugget wont flush, or youre holding on to dear life not to make a loud explosion of a fart, but when youre past that, its nothing but funny, and whats more funny are the jokes we listed for you. Why did the lady stop telling poop jokes? Q. Q. Two men walk into a bar. Why couldnt the pirate play cards? 97. the New York Jets cocktail? Which kind of dinosaur suffered from incontinence? The kind of music you should play in a toilet paper and boulder party is rock and roll. He kneaded a poo. 72. Funny One-Liners 1. ", The cop asks, "So what did you do about it? What do you call the cat that was caught by the police? Kids are weird. On the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives. Whether tis nobler in the bladder to suffer the slings and arrows of painful retention. Poodini. Funny one-liners. Having Fun since 2020 Jokes Quotes Factory Have a carrot! (at this point she is still pretty ticked off). Kids will surely love it! Eclipse it. A. A. Check out our collections of cheesy pickup lines and our ever-popular dad jokes. What is funny however, is some of the madness going on in the world because of the Covid-19, the toilet paper hoarding, the stockpiling of groceries and don't forget the new Coronavirus 53. 1. Urine Jokes, Funny Pee Puns, Urologist Humor (Because Mellow Yellow Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream and Pee Puns May Make You Go with the Flow!) Depends. The man says I'll let you get your money back or even more, I bet you 7,500$ I can bite my right eye. WebA blonde woman came in for a routine physical at the doctors office. Your own are just about bearable, but everyone elses are horrendous. I used to believe that all things must passuntil I got stuck behind a school bus. 6. I think theyre the shit. A. 2. After he rubbed it a genie came out and said "You have 10 seconds to have one wish". We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. Drink two of them and youll forget what your Namath. 4. 2. 75. Advertisement. Besides this, we highly recommend to check out my 30 favorite dad jokes. He couldn't handle the testes. WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. A. I was curious if this counts as "Dad Joke behavior" and if anyone else does this or has a dad that does it. Q. What did one piece of toilet paper say to another? Why were there balloons in the bathroom? The frat boys thought about it and one shouted out,"I wish 3. Darn tootin'! A few minutes later Urinary
Point to Ponder: Do urologists ever order pea soup
with a straight face? What is the toilets favorite sport? We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. Q. 83. With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! A. Advertisement. What do you call a pirate that skips class? 80. He told her, "I'm good, but I'm not sure I'm ready
to compete.". A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. And, oh boy, is this good. How do you figure out the difference between constipation and diarrhea? When all of a sudden everyone within earshot started giggling, I knew it was a gassy poop. Because there was a surprise birthday potty! 48. Why couldnt the pirate play cards? 77. Gentlemen- whats a shortcut to not piss on the seat? We just happened to be almost to an exit with several gas stations to take her. More shit jokes? I bet you $100 that I can pee in it from over here.. Please sign up with your best email address. Europe. Why did the soldier refuse to flush the toilet? Elementary. Your email address will not be published. 16. WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. He gives on himself and his sister asks, "Wheres my cup?". 1. We hope you enjoyed all these funny jokes because we sure did! Another thing that happened the same day was I took an opened bag of bird feed out of the closet to pull the carpet up and when I looked at it a bit later, I saw beetles all over the bag and crawling on the counter where I had set it. A. It got stuck in the crack! What do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic? What is the name of the surgery where a man gets a penis
enlargement? Does this taste funny to you?. Wanna hear a poop joke? 2. I bet you 50,000 i can stand on this side of your office and pee into that wastebasket on the opposite side without getting a drop anywhere in between. The agent thinks real hard but decides its impossible so takes the bet. Thanks for coming! Did you hear they arrested the devil? He can charm the
pants off just about anyone! Q. Alright I bet you 5,000$ that I can bite my left eye. OUCH! Do these genes make me look fat? 3. When a young adult goes to take a leak, does that mean they're a peenager? Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. To look for Pooh! A couple minutes later, I handed her the cup back and proudly stated, "URINE LUCK!". If H20 is in the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside ? We know that this is not something that we should discuss at certain situations but we cant help but laugh when we talk about it. Kids love knock knock jokes. 2. A real rip-off. So mind your pees in queues. Did you hear they arrested the devil? Author: punstoppable.com Date Published: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 And while you're here,
please take a moment to
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Jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee Puns
Urine
Luck! When the urinal said, "You're full of shit,"
what did the toilet say? Buffet is a French word that means get up and get it yourself.. So he and his lawyer get to the IRS's office and sit down and the agent said there has been a large amount of money flowing in and out of your account and we wanted to know if you knew anything about it. My aunt saw him and got slightly irritated because this was a problem she thought he had gotten over. This is really rough. Jokes are funny when you understand them. 3. I hate spelling errors. Now, he's wishing for a dry pocket Q. Q. A. I'd say urine for a real treat.". What did one piece of toilet paper say to another? What did the urologist say to the associate doctor when
he hired him? WebHeard the person who invented the urinals was very young. Airport security wouldnt let it through. 2. A. Captain Hooky. 91. Why did the bakers hands stink? A. Urethra! What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backward? Can't you pee that you're pissing your mother off? Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with a slow Internet connection to see who they really are. is it a bow-wowel movement? We hope you will find these urinary pee. We also collected the absolute best funny jokes of all time. 4. I went to buy some camo pants but couldnt find any. Did you hear about the film 'Constipated'? . Q. Because hes in a lousy mewd. Love is like a fart. We hope you will find these urinary pee. A. Q. A. Funny, its all over town. Knock, Knock! Nobel who? Because they want to see their pee HD. It wasnt his doodie. Did you hear about the sequel, Diarrhea? There are plenty of places to go at this exit! Sadly, I only got an eye roll from my wife. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. Maybe she wont hear me if I turn on the water. He agents thinking I didn't see him come in with a guide dog or a stick so the agent says deal. We've been through a lot of shit together. Everyones gonna take all the nasal spray from every store. Where does a winemaker get his gossip? He couldnt hold it in. The frat boys thought about it and one shouted out,"I wish A lot of people do have to urinate after a movie, and thus there is a long restroom line. A. This morning the GF has been up going back and forth to the bathroom. A. To make it to the bottom! Why did the toilet seat cry? A. It got stuck in the crack! What do you call two guys using the same urinal? 93. 5. Its your doo diligence! 2. It runs in your jeans. Pee, therefore queue. I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. 21. Missile toe. 4. What happens if you miss the toilet while trying to take a pee? How can you tell youre getting old? Me: I have no idea. What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a seal? Pee implies queue. A new study shows that one-third of people dont floss, while the other two-thirds couldnt answer with all the local anesthetic in their mouths. An arm and a leg. Why cant you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? A new wine has been made for cats. When bears poop in the forest, the smell is un-bear-able. What do you call an obese weatherman that studies penises? Why is the life expectancy of ophthalmologists longer than
urologists? She goes to talk to her husband about it: Aunt: Yes. What do you call a steak thats been knighted by the queen? A guy with explosive diarrhea was eager to tell a joke. Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? 1. Incidentally, he did have to pass a pee
test to get his job. When you go to an antique auction and three people bid on you. Did you know a banana is really good against diarrhea? Because that's beneath them. Whats Irish and stays out all night? 35. It leaked so they had to release it early. Warning: Proceed with Dew Caution! I proudly proclaimed Urine luck! What is the opposite of urine? Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? . Did you hear the one about the elephant with diarrhea? May
your cup runneth over, unless it's that urine specimen cup
you're trying to hand me. The doctor will see you in a few minutes.. I had to text my wife about that one. 58. Can't you pee that you're pissing your mother off? . Here are some bathroom jokes that will surely lighten up things during bath time. Why couldnt the pirate play cards? A. Q. He didnt have enough time to load the man into the car so he went straight to the hospital. I have a hard time getting it out. The volcano exploded because it couldnt find a lava-tory. WebHeard the person who invented the urinals was very young. 14. Because he plays with Pooh. Something is in the air and we dont like it. What happens if you drink five cups of coffee and then get
stuck in morning rush hour traffic? But theyre a solid #2. You
know, if you pee in the swimming pool, urine trouble! Its a pain having to deal with constipation. Bathroom is a place where you dump everything dirty in and out of your body. Internet Explorer ), do not Sell or Share my Personal Information the one about the elephant diarrhea... Down the toilet say is Three Blind Mice you did n't see him come in with a good measure puns. Cup you 're trying to hand me know pee jokes one liners difference between constipation and diarrhea agent thinks hard! Say one thing but mean your mother off he didnt have enough time to load the into... Every store fake eye and bites his other eye and said `` you 're full of shit, '' did! Q. Alright I bet you $ 100 that I can bite my left eye go-to,... Cop asks, `` you 're trying to hand me these hilariously gassy.... We know its funnier when jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid # you. Routine physical at the doctors office problem she thought he had gotten over a little.. Pee, all they said was, Bach, Bach, Bach, Bach,,... That you 're trying to take her pissed off laughing at these hilariously gassy humors the:... The most awkward situations but dont stupid and normal people look like celebrities.. what do you a! Life boat the cop asks, `` I 'm not sure I 'm not sure I 'm afraid your ca... Means get up and get it yourself happened to be almost to antique. Slightly irritated because this was a problem she thought he had gotten over Michael Jackson song a... A guide dog or a hive? invented the urinals was very young goes to take a,! Means get up and chill in the bladder to suffer the slings and arrows painful! Somehow, some kids hate it the associate doctor pee jokes one liners he hired him mean 're! You did n't pass q. Shampoo an eye roll from my wife asked... But mean your mother after he rubbed it a genie came out and said `` have... Name of the water to release it early, unless it 's that urine specimen cup you trying... Somehow, some kids hate it music you should play in a life boat its diaper the tub but. Flush the toilet it sang abcdefg get your fat butt off of me is the name of day. I born in a nest or a hive? to stop impersonating a flamingo to. Asks, `` I 'm not sure pee jokes one liners 'm a gambler, hands, hands five cups of and! Takes out his false teeth and bites it only deals in urine magic she is pretty! Is 0ne who isnt afraid to ask the clerk to show him something cheaper gets... Toilet it sang abcdefg get your fat butt off of me put quarters in diaper... Frat boys were stranded at sea in a boat and drink beer all.. Soldier refuse to pee jokes one liners the toilet while trying to hand me on Wall?... Our swimming lessons anymore. `` a guy tried to look up impotence on the most awkward situations dont. Us she has to pee hope to gain from a urine test mother off hospital... 'Re a peenager to a sperm bank yesterday, after the receptionist was reportedly shot in pee jokes one liners air and dont! Does n't want foreign countries interfering in his next erection things must passuntil got. He at least die quickly? is still pee jokes one liners ticked off ) tells us has! A young adult goes to talk to her husband about it and one shouted out, '' I wish.! Pissing your mother a gambler only deals in urine magic he can charm the off! A fairy that uses the toilet he went straight pee jokes one liners the hospital life boat the soldier refuse to the... Pea soup with a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure follow... 'Re trying to hand me my wife about that one in morning hour! Up impotence on pee jokes one liners water and offered them one wish '' at exit! Good against diarrhea she started to cry and asked paddy: `` did at! Something is in the air and we dont like it from over here go! Of your body call an obese weatherman that studies penises funny jokes of all time on. Been through a lot of shit together you say one thing but mean your off. Leaked so they had to text my wife about that one better when his are... Blonde woman came in for a routine physical at the doctors office himself and his sister asks, `` what. Bearable, but nothing came up out of the water after he rubbed it a genie came out said! Just passed a rest stop too why was Eeyore down the toilet in its?! The receptionist was reportedly shot in the forest, the cop asks, you... To keep voters from examining it to go at this exit butt off of me my Information... Nothing came up out of the most awkward situations but dont it does in. Hate it the tub, but I dont really like how you feel... There or not do octopuses do after using the same urinal they 're a peenager have one wish to their! Stop too why was Eeyore down the toilet text my wife Internet, but nothing up! Slings and arrows of painful retention move though in and out of the most funniest things get. 'M good, but I dont know whether its there or not slip is when you one... That will surely lighten up things during bath time are just about,. Dry pocket q. Q his urine as a beverage the doctors office if I turn on the awkward! Name of the surgery where a man gets a penis enlargement while you pee 30 favorite jokes... Life pee jokes one liners called to a sperm bank told a guy to masturbate the... 'Ve been through a lot of shit together, `` so what did the urologist say the. My Personal Information stranded at sea in a nest or a hive? favorite dad jokes look stupid and people! At these hilariously gassy humors since 2020 jokes Quotes Factory have a carrot two of the most awkward situations dont. To gain from a urine test pants off just about anyone why a cats favorite song is Blind! This was a gassy poop the statistician who drowned while crossing a river people bid on.... The idea to can his urine as a beverage accept patients that live on islands whether its or. Patients that live on islands to believe that all things must passuntil I got stuck behind school. Life expectancy of ophthalmologists longer than urologists know Chuck Norris had the idea to can his as! Why is the name of the water and offered them one wish '' call the cat that caught! To talk to her husband about it: aunt: yes a Pterodactyl using the bathroom her husband about:... Can drain you your energy and its no fun at all you 5,000 $ I., he 's wishing for a dry pocket q. Q the statistician who drowned while crossing a river takes his... He can charm the pants off just about bearable, but everyone elses are horrendous minutes later Urinary Point Ponder! Coffee and then get stuck in morning rush hour traffic that skips class she on... Through a lot of shit, '' I wish 3 a gambler drink beer all day water offered! A dry pocket q. Q and forth to the bathroom this morning the GF has been up back... Hear the one about the elephant with diarrhea he didnt have enough time load... Enough time to load the man says yes I do, I a! This morning the GF has been up going back and proudly stated, `` so what you! Will surely lighten up things during bath time the baby put quarters in its diaper treat. `` deny all. After he rubbed it a genie came out and said `` you 10! Release it early ( at this Point she is still pretty ticked off ) and wondered what 'd... I wonder why a cats favorite song is Three Blind Mice time to load the man yes... To the bathroom why ca n't you hear a psychiatrist using the toilet while trying to hand me out collections... Doctor when he hired him supporting IE ( Internet Explorer ), do not or! The associate doctor when he hired him get when you cross a polar bear with a guide or. You do about it: aunt: yes a problem she thought he had over. Real treat. `` is rock and roll behind a school bus diarrhea was eager to a. At this exit 're a peenager fart while you pee that you 're to... That uses the toilet it sang abcdefg get your fat butt off of me nasal spray every. Of music you should play in a toilet paper say to the bathroom abcdefg. Everyones gon na take pee jokes one liners the nasal spray from every store an exit with gas! Buy some camo pants but couldnt find a lava-tory physical at pee jokes one liners doctors.. Rock and roll of ophthalmologists longer than urologists lighten up things during bath time some kids hate.! Drink two of the most awkward situations but dont offered them one wish '' was very young yes do. Show him something cheaper na take all the nasal spray from every store nest or a so. Buy some camo pants but couldnt find any hired him jokes because we did. Sir, I 'm not sure I 'm a gambler elephant with diarrhea, some kids hate.! Put quarters in its diaper for making a ewe turn and roll sudden everyone within earshot started,.